Oh yeah, I pulled it.

Last Week, my friend T suggested a girl's night out to a drag queen show for some cocktails and dancing. Of course I was game because if you can't be yourself around drag queens, then who are you? Plus, I was hoping for some make-up tips. We made it to the club in time for the "official" show and let me tell you, those queens rocked the joint. Anytime I see someone in 5 inch, spiked, stilettos land a back handspring on a 4 foot wide catwalk, I'm inspired and impressed! We grooved out to some great club music and NOBODY bothered us. LOVED IT! Afterwards, we hit the local greasy spoon for some deep fried veggies and rice pudding and then I rolled home about 2AM. Perfect night so far, right?

So I'm coming back from a long anticipated girl's night out and my husband is not home. Not unusual except I had dropped him off at our local "eating" bar about 4.5 hours ago and he said he'd walk home and wait up for me. OK, so I check my cell and there's no message. Mild irritation at this point. I call his cell but don't leave a message because for some reason, he'll usually call me back sooner that way. (I hesitate to say this because now my secret weapon is revealed and won't work anymore). No answer and no immediate call back. Now I'm a little worried. 15 minutes later still no update, I'm feeling anxious...did something happen on his walk home? Did something happen at the bar? Should I drive down there and see what's up? What if I miss him coming home a different way? ETC....

At this point, I have no choice but to pull it...the Wife Card.

I don't consider myself a high maintenance person and I have a hard time with people who are. This excludes very ill people, they are allowed to be complainers and oddly enough, usually they're not. I get hives when I hear women whine; "why isn't he answering his cell phone? I TOLD him to leave it on, what if something's wrong?" Hey, maybe he doesn't WANT to talk to you!!!! Maybe you've cried wolf too many times for him to tolerate another nag fest? I dunno just a thought.

Anyway, I'm forced to call the bar and ask the bartender, "is my husband there? He is wearing a...", Danielle interrupts me to say, "Hi Laura, yeah, Andy's here hold on." My somewhat buzzed husband gets on the phone and slurs, "thorry, hey babe...he he he...I'm leaving now...thorry". At this point I'm feeling a mixture of relief, irritation and amusement. Amusement wins out because now it starts to pour rain and I know my somewhat drunk husband has to slosh home in the storm. Serves him right, making me pull the Wife Card!

I really don't like to pull the Wife Card but I will if backed into a corner. Cuz that's my job. If my man stuck to what he said he would do, I wouldn't have to pull it. Luckily, he's pretty reliable and ya know, sometimes life throws you curve balls: and if you can't adjust your balls, then who are you?